Why I Would Never Recommend Jezebel's Gallery

I've been sitting here beating myself up for feeling so sad. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to about this thing that happened to me today. I am feeling so alone. And all I can do is cry. Then it occurred to me that there are people out there that might understand. Artists like myself that put their hearts and souls into their art and not until they know it’s the best they can do can they put their names on them. These are our babies, our creations. Like children some are better than others, but they are family.
So when I agreed to let Jezebel’s Gallery show these paintings, I hesitated. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to leave them there, but this gallery came with a good reputation and the location wasn’t in the art district of Santa Fe, NM, but it was considered to be the second art district in the area. Madrid, NM. It felt like the first time I sent my kids off to camp. Happy but already missing them.
I know I’m an emotional person. Some say too emotional. But I’m connected to my paintings. Ask Denise because she couldn’t understand why I cried when I left them. She was so excited that I had been accepted into this gallery and said that artists waited years for just the chance to show in this gallery. I should be on top of the world. But I loved those 6 paintings that I dropped off. I had them framed before I gave them to Jezebel’s Gallery. They looked their best.
Two years later, seriously no communication with the gallery. Times are tough, but they weren’t when I left the paintings. But they didn’t sell. I got an email saying how much Jezebel really loved my paintings, but because they hadn’t sold to please come and pick them up.
Okay. That was fine. I didn’t know why she couldn’t pick up the phone like a real human being and call me, but I called her to tell her I understood and needed to make arrangements for shipping. When I did call, she wouldn’t come to the phone. I had to relay my message between her sales girl and her, knowing that she was standing right there because I’d say something and less than ½ a second she’d be back with Jezebel's answer. It was just strange. There was no reason for bad feelings. No angry phone calls or emails. I understood that it was time to move on. I wasn’t at all angry. The only time I actually heard from her was when she asked if she could lower my price and I agreed. But for some reason she wasn’t comfortable talking with me.
I needed to know the cost of shipping the paintings because I live in Phoenix, AZ and I wasn’t up for the drive to New Mexico. This was September 20, 2009. Her sales girl said that Jezebel would get back to me. So I waited two weeks and emailed asking if they had gotten the amount of shipping yet. I got an email back that they would figure that right up and get right back to me. So I waited another two weeks. I emailed again, but this time I said to just go ahead and mail them C.O.D. which is what they had wanted to do. All I wanted to know was how much it was going to cost. You know, so I could find some money to pay it. No reply. So I waited another two weeks and wrote my last email. It's now November 2nd. I asked Jezebel what she needed from me in order for her to ship my paintings. I was still very polite, not angry. Just business.
Jezebel took offense for some reason and the next thing I know I get a call from Miguel from Jezebel’s saying that he needed my credit card number and $150.00 to ship the paintings. So finally it’s going to be over. No more cat and mouse game from these people. I was happy. He said they would be here on Thursday.
It didn’t occur to me that I should have asked for a receipt for my $150.00 or a copy of the shipping invoice. It was my fault that I didn’t insist that I know how much insurance they put on the shipment to cover for damages. I stupidly assumed that they would know to do this. None of this occurred to me because Jezebel is a glass artist. She ships glass all the time. She knows that you need packing material in a box with GLASS.
I got my paintings today. They had wrapped the paintings with paper, stacked them on top of each other. All of them different sizes, threw in some more loose paper and shipped them. Every piece of glass is shattered. The matting is sliced. I’m not ready yet to try and tape the glass together enough so that I can take out the paintings because they could easily be damaged, too. Oh, and one of the paintings wasn’t even in the box. I don’t know where that painting is.
So I called. Of course, I couldn’t talk to Miguel who wrapped the paintings. He wasn’t available. I had stopped asking for Jezebel a long time ago. The sales girl asked me to take pictures and she would get back with me. Of course she didn’t.
But the question I have to ask is why? Why couldn’t they have done a better job and gotten my paintings back to me in the condition I left them in with this awful gallery. Why? What would the benefits to them have been to be so vindictive? What do you think my chances are of Jezebel’s Gallery reimbursing me for damages? I know, you’ll get back to me.

The World Is Still Turning But It Feels Different

It’s been a while since I’ve written. Actually since before I left for Perth July 9th. What a time that was. Yes, it did change me. I came back filled with love that I can carry with me now always. A beautiful family and a land filled with lovely people. It was beyond any thoughts or anticipations that I had.
Do you know that in Australia people are actually happy. They work hard at jobs that fulfill them, with people that they can laugh with and then they go on holiday. If they get sick they actually can go to a doctor. If this is socialism I want it.
When I got home my entire world opened up to me. I keep pinching myself to realize that it is all real. Now I have to write about Jessy.
That’s not her Chinese name, but certainly easier for me to say. She has become my angel. She bought “Ladder” from me in April and she says that this painting has changed her. She decided to help me in my pursuits. She has opened up doors for my art that I could have only dreamed of. She just walked up to these doors and opened them. Oh she’s worked hard, but she knows how to organize and make things happen. And in her words, “I’m always thinking”. Her story is more magnificent because of where she started. A lone little girl who had big dreams, got knocked down hard and stood back up and is now power and compassion. She has taken my art to a new level. I won’t bore you with details, but I can say that next month I will be featured in a six page section filled with my paintings and writings in a very respected art magazine in China. They told Jessie that I am their first non-Chinese artist that they have featured ever. She has gotten critiques from two of the most famous artists in China, made a brochure of my work and entered me in two international shows. All this in a matter of three months. Yes pinch me. It’s been a while since I felt a purpose to paint. Now I feel an obligation to paint just to make her proud.
Even in these hard times greatness is possible. Success is possible. No my head isn’t swelling up with ego, but I do have hope now. I do feel that I’m moving forward. And I’ve learned a lesson. A nice lesson this time. This is the lesson of partnership and trust. I can’t do it all alone. It’s okay to accept help. Just as long as I always remember: Never take advantage. Share not only in the joy, but the compensation, as well. And give credit where credit is due.
I always love synchronicity. Before I left for Australia my wonderful sister bought me this great Nikon SLR camera. That was first. The second was that I have always wanted PhotoShop to work with my images, but could never afford the price tag. Two weeks ago Worldstart.com advertised a program called PhotoDesigner Pro that was similar to PS, but only, are you ready, $8.95 and free shipping. I bought it. Then I found out about the magazine spread. If I hadn’t had my camera I wouldn’t have been able to take the photos needed for the magazine and if I hadn’t had this program, which came one day prior to finding out about the magazine opportunity, I would never have been able to size, turn the images into TIF and adjust the color just right for the magazine. The stars are in alignment for sure. And this program is very similar to PS. Jessie has PS and we were able to talk back and forth on what was needed. I could do everything that her PS did. So thank you Beth and Worldstart. Without you I could not have taken advantage of this great opportunity.
You can feast your eyes on my sisters artwork at http://www.artbyelizabethtaft.com/
Also go to http://www.worldstart.com/ and buy PhotoDesigner Pro. You won’t be disappointed.

Thoughts

It's been nearly a week. I've been working on staying in the NOW. It's hard. So much going on. Bills to pay. A house to clean and a yard that needs seriously attention. Work on my latest painting Stay in the NOW. Don't redo the entire evening. Don't go through every word you said. Don't analyze. Let it go. Be in the NOW.
Andrew. A shining light. A man with an eternally youthful smile. That smile carries itself through eternity and back. So genuine. So kind. A clear karma. He knows what his path is. He knows who he is and he knows where he's going. Contentment and joy. That's Andrew. Yet I know that he works himself down to the bone. He carries the trust of important people. Loving people, but just the same, he works so very hard. Does he stay in the NOW? Is he always present? It seemed that way.
Eva. I have absolutely no idea what her age is. She is timeless. Inner beauty and grace. Efficient or she wouldn’t hold such an important position. Yet, like Andrew, she is so comfortable with herself. Always gracious and kind.
I could spend the rest of my life and never reach the level of grace both of these people were born with. Are they married? Do they have families? Is there a husband waiting for Eva? Is he as evolved as she is? Or is she like most, in a relationship that takes work, patience and love. I doubt that Andrew is married. When would he have time to see a wife, care for a child, be present for them. He's all over the world. Traveling between every country on the globe. Doing his work that he knows has purpose. Working for a man who is even more than him, if that's possible.
So it's been almost a week. I've failed at being in the NOW. I've dissected every single word I spoke. Second guessed how it came across. I was nervous around Andrew. Probably because I felt he held my future in his gaze, attentiveness. What did he see?
I know some things. I know that I am doing what I was meant to do. I know who I am and where I've come from. I know where my healing needs to go. I also know that I must be done with all of it and be in the NOW in order to be where I want to be. It's not about money or fame or prestige. It's about doing my work. Telling truth through my work. Sounds simple, but it's the hardest thing I've ever attempted to do in my lifetime up to now. NOW. There's that word again. I can't afford to make a misstep, but I know I will. I'm not like Andrew and Eva. I'm flawed. I have baggage and issues around me every day that I have to put myself into. It's time to ask the question again. The question that stops the internal chatter. The words that bring me in, explore me in, turn me in. NOW. I feel my fingers toughing the keys to the keyboard. Flowing across mindlessly. I can type. Thank God for that. I can type fast and accurately. But if I stop and think about each key instead of the phrase I'm typing I make mistakes. Is that it? Not questioning each touch of the key. It stops me like it stops me when I question every word I say. I need to let it flow. Keep going without thought. That question is back. It's the only thing that stops me.
What is my next thought?…………………………….